Saturday, June 27, 2009

Nothing to fear but fear itself

After reading this awesome post by Maria, I thought to myself: I can't believe I have not written a post about my fears, being that I am the biggest hypochondriac I know. Like, seriously. You have no idea how worried I get over every little thing! I'm not talking about the normal worry we have about something bad happening to the people we love, but other less significant, yet totally paralyzing, fears.

Some of my biggest fears and worries are:

Flying. Flying scares me. I have always been afraid of flying. I have flown a lot - to Europe many times, to many parts of the US, to the other side of Canada, to various caribbean islands. I close my eyes during take-off. Once we have been in the air for 10 minutes, I relax a little, because I have heard that the most dangerous and most likely time to crash is during those first 10 minutes. Oh, you didn't know that? Well, now you do. Happy flying! When I'm flying, I will eat whatever food is given to me. No matter how gross. The creamers for the coffee. The sugar for the coffee, the dessert, the pretzels, the so-called chicken... whatever. I eat and eat. Do you know why I do this? No, not because I'm hungry. I do this because it will keep my energy levels up in case I need to tread water. You know, in case our plane crashes into the ocean and I have to wait to be rescued. I need to have a full stomach so I can do this. Also? Turbulance sucks. I hate it. No matter how many times the flight attendants tell me it's okay. It's not really okay. Didn't the recent Air France plane crash experience really bad turblance? I rest my case. It's just not normal to drop a few hundred feet while you're in the air, or to be shaking so badly it feels like an earthquake is happening mid-air. I try to read while flying. Once, I tried to read a book about getting over the fear of flying, but it did not help. On a trip back from Acapulco, our flight was delayed. By over 1 hour. While we were sitting IN the plane. I asked the flight attendant what the problem was, and she told me there was some engine problems. I freaked out. Started crying. She told me I could go see the pilot, to see if he could calm me down. This was before 9/11, of course. I went into the cockpit, and saw 2 pilots with every manual you can imagine opened on the floor - papers everywhere. The very nice pilot said to me: "Don't worry. I don't want to die, either. We're going to figure out what's wrong before we take-off." And thank you, nice pilot, for almost making me jump out of that plane.

Insects are gross. I hate bugs. Truly. I am scared of bugs. The 3 bugs I hate the most are: earwigs, spiders and centipedes. Once, when I was living in D.C., I saw a centipede run into my closet. I had no idea where it went, all I knew was it was in my closet. So, I did what any normal and level-headed person would do - I emptied out my entire closet, and left all my clothes in the family room for the remainder of the time I lived there. I never did find out where that centipede went, but I was glad it was not something I'd have to worry about each morning when I got dressed. Spiders also freak me out completely. I have almost caused several car accidents due to spiders being on me while driving. I noticed a spider crawling on the sleeve of my coat once, so I started smashing my arm against the window to try to kill it. Not realizing that my other hand was still holding the steering wheel - which meant I was zig-zagging in and out of the lanes to the left and to the right of me. Yes, that was stupid. But thank God, by some small miracle, there were NO cars around me. Phew.

Germs are my enemy. My hands are always dry because I wash them a million times a day. The fear of germs increased 100 percent when my first child was born. I was freaked out about anyone touching him. The day after he was born, 15 people came to visit me at the same time. My husband, who had just stepped out of the room to get some water, came back in my room to warn me. I wanted to run away with my baby, but I had no time. Someone touched my baby's hand. Which, hello? Might as well have spit in his mouth! I whispered to my mom: "OMG, mom, OMG!" And my mom, what does she do? She goes and puts some Purell on his tiny newborn hand. Okay, so I officially had a heart attack then. Germs and alcohol poisoning? I could not deal! This fear mostly went away when my second baby was born - I was okay with people holding him. I was not a Purell freak like I was the first time around, but still. Isn't it just common sense to wash your hands before you hold a baby? We carry antibacterial wipes with us everywhere we go, and I always wash their hands before they eat. I also make sure to wipe down the grocery cart handles before they touch it. Because, eww!

Those are my top 3 fears - flying, insects, and germs. What about you? What makes you totally sick with worry?

13 comments:

Allie said...

I will never look at airplane food again without thinking about treading water.

I love reading about other people's fears- it calms me . My big fears are the dark, and horses. Lord help me if I am ever stuck in a dark barn.

2 Little Irish Boys said...

I hate to even begin to think what mine are because I will drive myself crazy. I am ok with flying-germs.....if I ponder it I will whig out!!!

Kami's Khlopchyk said...

I am with you on #2, I hate bugs too. I don't mind flying at all, I always think about how much more likely it is to get into a car accident. And germs, I just can't get excited about them. The more you try to erradicate them the more crazy you can make yourself. Germs are actually good, they make our immune systems stay in shape for when they are really needed.

But you are not the only one there, lots of people fear germs. Me, I am far too lazy :)

Lady Mama said...

Don't worry I'm totally the same. In fact I might even go to say I'm a little worse. I worry about ridiculous things. Like, if my husband takes a bit too long picking up some groceries, I start imagining he's been in an accident. Seriously, I am a chronic worrier.

And yes - people should absolutely wash their hands before coming anywhere near a newborn!! Amazes me that you'd even have to remind someone that. As if a new mother isn't freaking out enough...

Scattered Mom said...

Umm....let me think.

1. Driving at night.
Last summer on our road trip, Jake and I were asleep and Hubs was driving...and we almost got into an accident. 75 mph, dark country road, woke up to major swerving action, LUCKY we didn't flip and all was okay. We were told we were amazingly lucky that things turned out fine. I doubt I will sleep in a car at night again.

2. Banking/ Money
Dealing with money makes me anxious. I feel guilty spending it, and worry about it when I have to pay bills, etc.

3. I don't like flying either. Especially taking off and landing. I don't mind the big planes so much, it's the small ones that Hubs used to fly that scared the crap out of me.

Jen said...

Oh Loukia your post was hilarious!Thanks for sharing your fears. My only fear is small spaces. I am quite claustrophobic and have been ever since I was a young girl. And don't even get me started on PUBLIC WASHROOMS...EWWW!

ModernMom said...

LOL We are so much alike! I hate flying. Actually the taking off and landing are the worst. (the two most dangerous time right) HA!
Also any new twinge, ache, bump...good lord. I google it and then it is all over. My Hubby thinks I should have married a Doctor. Number 3 for me..or maybe Number 1 fear. The Dentist! Hate it.

Jessica said...

For me, it!s just your run of the mill husband-dead-in-a-ditch sort of thing. Anthony rides a motorcycle and I HATE it. I'm scared to death he's gonna be maimed or killed.

And I'm with you on the flying and bugs (cockroaches and scorpions do me in).

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

I pretty much freaked when my MIL came OUT OF THE BATHROOM and DIDN'T WASH HER HANDS and wanted to hold my baby. Sick. Sick.

blueviolet said...

Holy cow, we have a lot in common! Insects and germs...yes indeed. In fact I just wrote about that dreaded earwig yesterday.

I saw your feature at La Dolce Vita and thought I'd hop over and learn a bit more. I'm glad I did!

Julie said...

I love flying. It means i am going on an adveture.

Totally have a spider phobia. It's bad. We live in an old house and there are spiders all the time, especially in the spring. I have to inspect the room before i go to sleep and get the husband to kill any I find.

Other than being a terrible worry wort, I don't I have any other "fears".

Capt Tom Bunn LCSW said...

I'm not surprised a book didn't help with fear of flying. No because a book can't help (I'm working on one) but because the techniques offered are not good enough. Now we do have good ones. Some free articles on effective help are at http://www.fearofflying.com/wordpress

AnchorMommy said...

I never would have guessed you're so scared of flying, considering all your great vacations!

I hate bugs too, but I am terrified of spiders. I've actually gone through aversion therapy for it. That helped a bit, but I'm not over the fear entirely. Imagine my horror 2 years ago, when I discovered a black widow spider under the eaves of my house, with a GIANT egg sack! And -- my husband was out of town! I had to suffer through two more days before that evil insect was smashed to pieces.

And you'll love this -- last night I was finishing a blog post and noticed something moving on the ceiling. An EARWIG. It was creeping along, and half of its body was hanging down. EWWW! It fell to the floor before my husband got to it. I've been seeing tons of earwigs lately, but never hanging off my ceiling. Gross.

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