Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Before I became a mom

Before I became a mom, I thought that I'd leave the hospital in my regular jeans.

Then, I had my baby, and left in lulu lemons. I put my pre-pregnancy jeans in the very back of my closet. We became acquainted again many months later. When I got pregnant for the second time, the day I peed on the stick, my jeans stopped fitting me again. This did not bother me so much, as being pregnant was the only time I could eat whatever I wanted to without anyone saying anything about it. McFlurries became a staple in my diet. And, for the record - I did eat health, too. And I always took my Materna. Every single day.

Before I became a mom, I was sure I would not breasfeed. Who cares what the experts had to say? I was adamant that I would not breastfeed. I didn't want to go through the pain that I kept hearing about from other moms.

Then, I had my baby, and I tried breastfeeding within minutes of his birth. I loved it. Instantly, he knew what to do - as did I. It was perfection, and one of the greatest decisions I ever made. For months, I fed my children, and that bond will always be something I will forever cherish.

Before I became a mom, I thought my children would sleep on demand, have regular bedtime schedules, and sleep in their own beds.

Then, I had my baby, and discovered that I'd sleep again in 20 years. Sleep is over-rated anyway, right? For the last 4 years, sleeping 5 hours a night seems to be the norm for me. I also slept with my children in my bedroom for the first 6 months of their life. When my oldest was 6 months he moved into his room, into his crib. I put a mattress on the floor so I could sleep beside him. Most nights, he ended up sleeping beside me. When he got his big-boy bed, I slept with him until his baby brother was born, then the baby slept with me for the first 6 months. Now, he sleeps in his crib but every night, at 1 a.m., he'll wake up, and come sleep beside me in my bed. I love sleeping with my children, and I dread the day that they're not going to want to sleep with me anymore. I know it's years away, but still...

Before I became a mom, I thought I'd be able to travel without my children without feeling guilty.

Then, I had my baby, and even going back to work was hard. I have only ever been away from my children for one night. I wonder if this will change with time? I'm thinking no. I can't imagine flying - one of my biggest fears - without them with me. My last thought, if the plane were to crash, would be guilt. Guilt for being a bad mom and leaving them for selfish reason like taking a vacation without them. Also, the thought of going on vacation somewhere nice without them would break my heart. I'd cry every time I'd see another child. So, I'm a big suck of a mom. I can do overnights in nearby cities with my girlfriends, though. That much I can handle without too much guilt! (As long as I'm driving).

Before I became a mom, I had all the time in the world to do what I wanted to do.

Then, I had my baby, and I could not leave the house to go to the grocery store without a well thought out plan - is the baby fed? Is his diaper changed? Do I have an extra outfit for him? When will he need to eat next? Where are my keys? Oh, shit, I'm still in my pj's... going out is not easy when you have children! And the older they get, well, it's still not easy. My kids have their own agenda! Have you tried to take your 3 year old away from playing in the sandbox to go grocery shopping? Not easy, my friends. No amount of bribing helps, either. It feels like such an accomplishment once you do get in the car to go out. With bags packed. And lots of snacks.

Before I became a mom, I thought my children would never embarrass me in public.

Then, I had my baby, and I have my share of stories to tell. I could write a book! Like the time my son asked me in an elevator: "Mommy, why is that man so tall? He's sooo tall." Yes, in an elevator. So I could not just run away. What did I say? "Yes, sweetie, he is tall! Maybe he plays basketball!" Oh, man.

Before I became a mom, life was busy and full.

Then, I had my baby and I realized what 'busy' and 'full' really meant. Life became more meaningful. A job that is never-ending - a constant 24 hours a day job - that makes life worth living! Because after becoming a mom, life got a lot sweeter... despite the lack of sleep, the cranky tantrums, and the inability to pee without another person in the bathroom with me. It's amazing how much a mom gets done in one day. We are all supermoms, you know. The only downside, really, is the constant worry. That is never-ending, too.

Before I became a mom, I had a really active social life.

Then, I had my baby.

29 comments:

MamaNeena said...

beautifully written, my friend. I was just thinking about some of these same things this morning.

Chantal said...

well said my dear, well said.

Jessica - This is Worthwhile said...

Fabulous post. I could have written it myself! - Well, except the breastfeeding part :) I knew I was gonna do that. -

Isn't it amazing how as non-parents we thought we were SOOOO busy? I can't imagine what the hell I was thinking.

Great, great, great!

Shannon @ AnchorMommy said...

I'm right there with you on the grocery store challenges and embarrassment in public. That's my life everyday, it seems!

Boy, do things change once a little one arrives. I never imagined myself leaving my job, for example! But once you become a mom, priorities change. It's that simple.

Mommy In Pink said...

This post completely melted my heart..so beautifully written. Well Done Loukia!

Babies sure do change our worlds in the sweetest possible way!

anya said...

You are a great mom and your boys are lucky to have you. I can feel how much you love them from this post! And I completely agree with you - as much as it is challenging to be a parent, the rewards are worth it.

Mom on the Go said...

Lovely post. I still have thoughts of what life will be like - and how Reid will behave - when she is older and then I remember how different life is now then when I was childless. Predicting is fun but reality is even better.

Deb Thaxton said...

-->Very well said and I agree with on it all.
What did we do with all that free time before having kids?

Your blog is super cute - popping over from Mama Kat's.

http://www.WebSavyMom.com

Quirkymom said...

At least your child didn't say in the doctor's office waiting room, "why is that ladies skin black?" Talk about embarassing. Last month it was to a child in a wheelchair, "why don't your legs work?" Thank goodness it was a child, they answered that no problem and the proceeded to play for 15 minutes while we waited for pictures. And last week, and luckily in the car after we talked with this lady, "how come her face is so flat?" I keep trying to tell her that we can notice things, but acknowledging them outloud is not polite!

I did love your post and it did get me thinking about this issue in particular - it never seems to stop!

Amy said...

So cute and so true! I agree. Well, hubby and I actually need mini-vacations alone and we take them, usually two to four a year. Mostly long weekends but once in a while it's been a week. It's hard without the kids, but we have to reconnet that way, which I figure benefits the kids, so that's what we do.

Sorry I've not been by - I got sick and I'm SO behind on my visiting!

the Preppy Princess said...

This is such an incredible post, I sat and read it twice and now have it bookmarked. Thank you for writing so beautifully and then sharing with all of us, what a gift.

Smile coming your way,
tp

Chelle said...

Such a sweet and true post, honey!

And I so know what you mean about them sleeping in your bed...last nite (this morning?) around 2 I felt 2 little hands pulling herself into my bed and into my arms. *sigh* Life. is. wonderful!

And I, too, dread the day she'll no longer want to sleep in my bed...what a sad, sad day that will be for me!

CaraBee said...

It's amazing just how much they change our lives and how little clue we had before.

Rebecca said...

sweet post. It's very true. It's funny what we think it will be like before kids, then we have them and they change our world in beautiful ways that we didn't even know!!

2 Little Irish Boys said...

So very true every one of your points!
Now that we are mom's....getting a massage will never be the same, either. You know the anxious feeling tht you have to get back to your babies--always looking at the clock if you are away.
I am telling ya--Dad's don't have the same "before I had kids...."

Mandy said...

Really true. Thoughts we all go through at some point. Well written.

EatPlayLove said...

So true, so true. Can you imagine life before you were a mother?

LZ @ My Messy Paradise said...

I'm with you on the flying thing...I refuse to go on vacation via plane without them.
Everything here is so so true...I wasted my free time before having my girls. I should have been in amazing shape and read all the books I wanted...things that seem like such a luxury now!

Amy said...

AND DOES ANYONE REMEMBER WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT BEFORE KIDS?? Cause I know I had conversations multiple times a day, but can't for the life of me figure out what they were about!

Lady Mama said...

Love this post! I had all the fantasies about what having kids would be like too, and none of them turned out to be true! I'm a big suck of a mom too - the thought of going on vacation without the boys makes me sad in a way, although at the same time it sounds so blissful...

Elisa said...

Wonderful, wonderful post! This one is definitely going in the Cool Finds of the Month :-)

Tiffany @ Lattes And Life said...

LOVE this. So true, on all counts. My husband and I always balked when people said how difficult newborns are. Our son was easy as pie. Sure, you're feeding every few hours..but then they sleep and you have a few hours to yourself. Well, just the other day we agreed that we were NUTS for saying that because a newborn AND a toddler? SO HARD! Never a moment to breathe. Someone always needing their butt wiped or to be fed or rocked. EVERY SINGLE MINUTE. It's exhausting!!

Kelly said...

I think that the lack of free time and spontanity is one of the hardest parts about being a mother. I don't want to be away from them for too long but I love short breaks.

I've never left my youngest for more than a few hours and my oldest has only been away about 3 different nights. But we're taking a week vacation in a month. It's going to be interesting. I'll be having fun but feeling guilty at the same time. I'm still breastfeeding too so I hope my 13 month old adjusts ok.

Nap Warden said...

I had NO idea how having babies would change my life...They are lucky they are so darn cute;)

Cave Mother said...

What a sweet post. You have probably spoken for most mums out there. We all think we are going to be so efficient, so organised. I thought I would be out of commission for a couple of months then my own life would resume again. How wrong could I have been? Now I don't want to waste a moment of this precious time.

Mercy said...

I loved that one. It's all so true.

Mariel said...

Well said! Great blog and adoreable kids!

Mariel
www.oneshetwoshe.com

ModernMom said...

Hey you! Get out of my head! I could have written every single word:)

Amy Lee said...

I'm nodding yes to all your points. Life is so different as a mom.

Blog Designed by: NW Designs