Friday, September 25, 2009

The post where I admit more about my neurotic self

I can be a control freak sometimes.

Okay, most of the time.

Fine. All of the time.

My friends all know this about me, and yet, they still love me. Thank you, friends!

I like to get my way. I want things to go my way, all the time. I want to go wherever I say, I want to eat what I'm craving, I want to shop where I like, and I want people to always agree with everything I say. I love having heated discussions about things, and I love trying to influence people to see my side of the story. I want people to agree with me.

I can get annoyed if someone doesn't like the same shows I watch. Or shop where I like to shop. And I will never understand how someone doesn't enjoy eating pizza. Or how someone can vote for a different political party than me.

Sometimes I like to control other people's lives, as well. Like my sister's. For instance, if she were to tell me she was going to watch the new Jennifer Aniston movie I'd get mad at her and tell her she is wasting her money and time because practically no movie that Jennifer Aniston is in is any good, and then I'd tell her which movies are out right now that are worth seeing. Seeing how I don't get to go to the movies as often as I used to before I became a mom, I get really sensitive when she wastes her time watching something that wouldn't be as good as something else, you know? Oh, this doesn't happen to you? Oh.

My issues run deep.

I sometimes wish I could also go up to complete strangers to offer them nice suggestions and advice.

Like about what they're wearing, and how they can improve their look. I would love to be able to go up to a girl who is wearing a skirt the size of a... hand towel and tell her that she'd look more respectable, and still sexy, if the skirt was a bit longer.

Another thing that irritates me is when I see a child in an uncomfortable situation.

I hate seeing babies in shopping centres who are dressed in full snowsuits sitting in strollers looking extremely hot. I wish I could go up to their mom, without sounding crazy, to tell her she should undress her child. I know the hassle of getting a child dressed in a snowsuit - it's no fun - but I would never keep my children's coats on while shopping - unless, of course, we were in and out of the store in like, 5 minutes. I feel so bad for these overheated babies and toddlers! Please, moms, take off their coats and snowpants when you're in a hot mall!

Yesterday, I saw a cute baby boy who was taking a nap in his stroller. The poor child's head was just hanging over the side, and the stroller was completely upright. I know this stroller can be lowered a bit to offer some comfort to the sleeping child, and I wanted to go up to the stroller to lower it for him, so he could sleep more comfortably. Of course, I didn't. But it was bothering me all day.

And I hate seeing children lying on the dirty floor of a store, face down. And yes, this has happened to me many times, with my boys. When I see either boy lying on the ground in a public place, I freak out.

"Oh, my God Dimitry! Get up! That is so gross! Don't you realize how dirty the floor is? Oh, my God, just think about all the people who have walked here, and think about the dirt that is on the bottom of their shoes! Like pee! And sickness! And bacteria! Get up! Here is some Purell. Now let's go home and shower."

Okay, maybe I'm not that dramatic, but pretty close. So to the parents of the children who have tantrums in public places, please make sure to wash your child's hands, and give them a nice bubble bath when you get home, okay?

I'm only looking out for your best interest, you know.

And if you don't like Glee? Well, I don't think we can be friends anymore. Just kidding. I'd still love ya.

26 comments:

Lindsay said...

You and I must have been twins separated at birth!!! I am the exact same way, oh and I love Glee ;)

Scary Mommy said...

I love you, I love Glee, I love SVH.

But if some stranger came up to me and told me to adjust my stroller because my son's head was lopsided, I might just have to kick her.

But I still do love you, LOL. :)

Loukia said...

Haha... I love you too, Jill! xo

Gina said...

I would like to vouch for this and say she is 100% the control freak she says she is. It is quite annoying :)

anya said...

Oh thank god I'm not the only one.

Tiffany Lockette said...

I'm not laughing at you, I am laughing with you!! You crack me up.

Chantal said...

I am not a control freak but... I do find it hard to see babies and kids in difficult situations. Where I would handle things differently. It drives me nuts!

Sandra said...

You are too funny! The first step is recognizing this in yourself! I'm a control freak too and I love glee! Should we start a support group?

Jessica said...

Hahah. Too funny. I'd like to control everyone, too. Then I wouldn't have to see kids in less-than-stellar situations and I wouldn't have to read horrible crap and I could get my husband his much deserved raise :)

I had a woman once tell me that my son's feet were going to get burned because they weren't shaded by his stroller shade. I thought it was incredibly rude since I already knew his little feet were exposed and that's why he had sunscreen on them! I bet she'd have like to control me and save my son's feet from "danger"!

I guess what I'm saying is, We can't ALL be control freaks! Although, I'd still like to be one.

Sue said...

It is really nice to know I am not alone. I can't help but want to control stuff! OMG, just wait until our kids are teens and we can't control their lives! Aghhh!

P.S I STILL haven't seen Glee

amanda said...

thank goodness i puffy heart glee :)

Shannon @ AnchorMommy said...

Ha ha! I actually had a moment tonight where I thought, "I must be driving my husband crazy." I suppose that may be a sign there's hope that I can reform my neurotic ways?? Maybe???

Then again, he knew what he was getting into. ;-)

ModernMom said...

I am the Mom who will say "Opps I think your baby slipped when she was sleeping her little head fell down." To get those parents to pay attention to the fact that their kids are folded in half in a stroller that reclines!

PS Love Glee!

Mommy Dear said...

Hahaha! Your post is so relatable! I'm the same way about kids and their comfort--Just the other day I was in Target--the cold section--and there was a week-old baby being held by mommy with a onesie on!!! Are you kidding me? Grab a blanket, leave the area, something!!!

Oh--and---Glee rocks!!!!!

Julie said...

wow, you make me look like a laid back mama. and that's saying something!

Shana said...

LOVE Glee!!!!

BeachMama said...

I think we all have a little of that neurosis.

Just know that when you do approach the stranger about their kid, you might just be crossing that line. It drives me crazy too to see children in situations, but if someone ever came up to me, I would certainly let them know that their advice would not be welcome.

Maricris Zen Mama said...

I really need to check Glee! I've been seeing it on Twitter a lot. And yeah, for reals girl, I freak out too when my daughter even kneel on the floor! yuk!

Nenette AM said...

Okay, my girl, I totally love you, and I'm a total control freak too.

I've had to stop myself from going up to women at restaurants and telling them that they "shouldn't be wearing that lipstick shade"! Seriously, a couple close calls. It would've been embarrassing.

And yes, as you know, I love Glee! :) xo

melissa said...

i have no idea what glee is. i see you tweeting about it. but i have yet to watch it. i hope you'll still be my friend.
xo

CaraBee said...

We all have our neuroses. I won't even start on the list of things that get me going. I'd be here all day. Suffice to say, you are not alone.

And Glee rocks the hizzy.

2 Little Irish Boys said...

Thanks for reminding me about all the yuckiness on floors--I seriously just try to wipe it from my mind!!
You are so funny!1

T~T said...

I'm with you on looking out for other babies - we were on vacation a couple of years ago and there was this couple (younger gal and older male) who had 3 children, 2 older boys and a baby. The entire week all you could hear was this little baby screaming and shouting her little heart out. No one ever held her - they left her in her stroller the entire time. She would be hungry and screaming and they would never pick her up and feed her. They would make her WAIT until a specific time to feed her. OBVIOUSLY the baby was starving - why the hell else would she be screaming her bloody head off. Literally - i was ready to smack that mom upside her head. She ruined my entire vacation on a beautiful romantic island!

Mom2Miles said...

See, at least you can admit it. I am a control freak, too, in many ways, but I have trouble admitting it. For instance, I am convinced that I'm the only person who knows how to load the dishwasher properly. I HAVE to rearrange it the right way. And there have been many times when I wanted to scream at my husband, "Beverages go on the top shelf of the fridge, condiments in the door! IS THAT SO HARD?!?" I don't know WHY he claims I'm hard to please. To me, it's a black & white issue: there's a right way (MY way) & a wrong way. ;)

Maria @BOREDmommy said...

You are preaching to the choir! We are neurotic sistas!!!

Grace said...

This reminds me of a joke:

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Control freak.... Now this is the part where you say "control freak who"
-end of joke-

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