Monday, September 28, 2009

The seven stages of (shopping) grief

You know when you go shopping to buy something specific? You are a woman on a mission, and you will not stop until you find just what you are looking for. In your mind, you will walk into your favourite store, and the first thing you'll see when you walk in will be 'the item' that you have so desired. You walk quickly, with a light bounce in your step, because you're happy. Shopping always makes you happy, and today is no exception.

Well. The other day, I went shopping to buy a new pair of pants from one of my favourite stores, and I thought I'd have a great shopping experience, leaving with a pair of brown wide-legged trouser pants. Instead, after searching through the entire store, I came to the sad realization that I was not going to leave a happy customer.

The only pants they had that closely resembled what I wanted to buy were size 0, 2, and 4. Even if you add the 4 and 2 together, you would still not get my size number.

I was quite upset. And I went through the 7 Stages of Grief due to this unforeseen experience.

Shock: What? Are you kidding me? These pants only come in a size 2? What's going on here? How could this be? But I'm here to buy some pants! I need these pants!

Denial: There is no way, that in this entire store, there is no size (as if I'd tell you) pants in the style that I want. No way. I will continue looking. I'm sure I am just not reading right. I'll start all over again, and go through every pair, just to make sure, because I'm not believing this right now. No way.

Anger: Okay, Banana, what's the freaking deal? I'm your number one customer! You are the reason my credit card is maxed! How can you treat me like this? Don't you see how badly I need these pants? What happened to us? How could you? Just what am I going to wear to work on Monday? I have no clothes! This is so unfair. Life is cruel. I hate you, Banana!

Guilt: If only I was a size 2 or 4. Then I wouldn't have this stupid problem to begin with. It's all my fault. I feel so guilty for eating all those mini chocolates during Grey's Anatomy. If I didn't eat like a 15 year old boy, I probably could fit my Hellenic hips into a size 4. It's all my fault. Clearly everyone is a size 2 and 4 because that is all I'm seeing. I suck. I must start dieting right away.

Pain and Sorrow: I guess I'm not getting these brown pants today, after all. I'm so sad. I was looking forward to a future with these beautiful pants, to be worn with my new green cashmere sweater from J.Crew. Now, I have nothing. It hurts so bad. Must remedy this feeling by buying some chocolate.

Release and Resolution: Sigh. Okay, Banana. I forgive you. I'll just buy these grey trouser pants instead. They're nice. And they fit. I will be back, though. And the next time I'm here, I hope you'll have more pants in the size I wear. I will be okay. I'm strong. I will hold my head up high and move on to the shoe store.

Return to the Willingness to Love: Oh, hello beautiful black booties... I love you! You make me so happy! And, oh, what? You DO come in my size? Thank you God! Life is grand.

26 comments:

Chantal said...

LOL that is a hilarious post! So funny, yet so true.

Theta Mom said...

Yes, that is shopping grief at its best when the MUST HAVE is only available in the store as a size 2! I've had this conversation with my self as well! Wear your heart out of those boots girl!

Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com said...

It's the worst when you know exactly what you want.....and it's not out there for you!!! It's so frustrating, especially when you're asking for something pretty basic!

I hope you find it (maybe online they'll have the right size?)

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

So true. At these times, only a new shirt, shoes or accessory can make a woman get past the pain.

Nicole said...

LOL this is so funny and so true!!!! By the way, I have an award waiting for you at my blog. http://youngmamablog.blogspot.com

Lady Mama said...

Too funny! I go through the same stages of grief when my size isn't in stock - and yes it's SO much worse when all they have are the stupid skinny sizes. The only consolation is that the reason your size is not there is because most women are that size too. :)

Mommy Dear said...

Love it!

My problem lately is finding my 17-month-old daughter's size in the newest collections at the Gap! 12-18 months, good luck!!

Kate Coveny Hood said...

I am very familiar with the denial stage. I'll check the discard rack in the dressing room before I give up.

Jessica said...

Hahaha. Whenever that happens to me (and it happens a lot) I think, Wow, well, I guess those pants must look great on a girl my size!

Jennifer said...

Very cute!

anya said...

I was nodding my head the whole time reading this! So cute!

But seriously, stop. Whenever you post about shopping I get cravings for boots and cashmere. ;)

Mom2Miles said...

Ha, ha! Very clever post!

Rebecca said...

sooo true

there's also the 'I didn't buy it, I should have bought it' guilt.

CaraBee said...

Seriously, what is it with all of the 2s and 4s. The average woman is a 12, so shouldn't they have more in that range?

Great post!

Jenn@ The Crazies said...

Just hysterical... we have GOT to meet!!!We are so alike LOL

Natalie Rea said...

OMG this was hilarious! When you said "... but I'm your best customer!" I read it in an Arnold Schwarzenegger accent (from Jingle All The Way).

Seriously though, I can relate to every stage you described. Well done!

Natalie @YMCbuzz

Gema McAlister said...

So this happens to me as well. I just have to tell myself that they fit so well, that all the women that are my size have already bought them. Maybe they don't look good on a person who is a size 0-4 (although I know that EVERYTHING looks good on a person of that size). When you are on the hunt for something, you NEVER find it. You have to just forget about it, and then when you are over your need for the item, you will see them in every store you go into. You should try Nordstrom. In their POV department, they have a brand called "semantiks" and it's their house brand that fits pretty well and is at a reasonable price. I am sure they have the pants you are looking for.

ModernMom said...

I do identify! I'm currently suffering from another kind of shopping grief. Regret. Why did I spend so much on a cute little number I simply did not need! Sigh.

Shannon @ AnchorMommy said...

I go through the 7 stages as well, but didn't realize it until I read this post! Hilarious! Only now, I'm not shopping for nice trousers anymore. Or any kind of work clothes. Now I only go through the 7 stages when I have to buy new pants for my boy or new flip flops for the husband. I think I need a shopping trip of my own!

Elaine A. said...

No, the reason the size 4 and 2 are still there is because not very many people ARE that size and the two people that are haven't shopped there yet! Silly girl!!

I'm sorry you didn't get the color that you wanted but I'm glad this post came out of it - love it!

becca said...

Great post! My problem is that when I "skip" into the store there is no way in hell that I'm leaving without something. And then I definitely go through the stages of, "did I really need this", "will I actually wear this", "what was I thinking", etc. And I STILL have to go out and find what I originally was looking for! Shopaholic at its worst I am. There is no better "high" than the high of finding that perfect something.

Loved this!

Maria @BOREDmommy said...

Now, I definitely want to go shopping with you - I need to see these stages in action. Too funny woman!

Elisa, The Unlikely Housewife said...

Ah, see? There is hope. When you walk into BR you never leave completely disappointed ;-)

(I'm thinking they should hire us as their "faces" ;-))

Smart A$$ Mom said...

I do this not only with clothes for myself, but for my children as well. Shameful, I know.

Lola said...

Banana's stalk has sucked lately (not eloquent I know, but the truth).I shop there a lot too-one of the few places that I can get pants long enough. Today when I went in there I asked when they were going to get some actual stock as they had almost nothing at Bayshore. Thank goodness I am going to the U.S. for Thanksgiving so I can get some great Columbus weekend shopping done!!!!!:)

Paging Doctor Mommy said...

You are hilarious! You described it perfectly... I went through all the same stages just yesterday when I was searching for the perfect pair of black heels!

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