This is the most nervous I have ever felt in my life. The feeling of excitment and fear and worry and happiness started late last night, as I lay in bed, trying to fall asleep.
Imagine what you were feeling the night before your wedding - or, the night before you gave birth - that's the type of feeling I'm talking about here. Only, the feeling of nervousness and excitement and worry I have this time is much worse.
My baby boy starts kindergarten tomorrow. I know, I know, I have already talked about this. But the day is upon us now... tomorrow morning, my first-born son will begin school. This is it, baby! From now until when he graduates with a Ph.D, (a mom can dream, right?) he will be in school.
My little boy, only four years old, will be thrown into the 'real world' - and I now have to put my trust in other people, people who are not part of my son's family - I have to trust his teacher, I have to trust my son, I have to realize that this is normal, and healthy, and necessary.
He is a natural born learner, this child of mine. He amazes me every single day.
Luckily, our second attempt at meet the teacher day went excellent, as you can see from this picture.
I hope he is this happy tomorrow, too.
I think he is ready. I hope he is ready. But still, I'm scared and I'm sad. It feel like these last four years went by way too quickly. It aches my heart! I now have a school-aged child. With my youngest also starting nursery a coulpe of times a week, I'm just an emotional mess!
Oh, but I know all the wonderful things that come with the beginning of school. Every since I was a child myself, I could not wait for the day to become a mom - and I could not wait to have children in school. I am now there. I can now look forward to my son bringing home projects, assignments, crafts, homework, and hand-written stories (okay, maybe not all of that in his first year!) for me to proudly read. I cannot wait to sit in the audience to watch his school plays and concerts, and I can't wait to be a volunteer in his classroom.
I have his outfit prepared for tomorrow, his snacks are ready to go, and his backpack is downstairs. We will get in the car tomorrow morning, and I will kiss his goodbye for the morning. I have not decided if I will actually leave the parking lot, but I'm thinking I'm going to have to, right? With tears streaming down my face, of course. It's painful! It's such a mix-bag of emotions. I hope it goes well. I hope he loves school and I hope he does well. I hope I can survive tomorrow, too - and you know I will be posting an update about his very first day once I calm down.