Sunday, September 13, 2009

This is it, baby...

This is the most nervous I have ever felt in my life. The feeling of excitment and fear and worry and happiness started late last night, as I lay in bed, trying to fall asleep.

Imagine what you were feeling the night before your wedding - or, the night before you gave birth - that's the type of feeling I'm talking about here. Only, the feeling of nervousness and excitement and worry I have this time is much worse.

My baby boy starts kindergarten tomorrow. I know, I know, I have already talked about this. But the day is upon us now... tomorrow morning, my first-born son will begin school. This is it, baby! From now until when he graduates with a Ph.D, (a mom can dream, right?) he will be in school.

My little boy, only four years old, will be thrown into the 'real world' - and I now have to put my trust in other people, people who are not part of my son's family - I have to trust his teacher, I have to trust my son, I have to realize that this is normal, and healthy, and necessary.

He is a natural born learner, this child of mine. He amazes me every single day.

Luckily, our second attempt at meet the teacher day went excellent, as you can see from this picture.



I hope he is this happy tomorrow, too.

I think he is ready. I hope he is ready. But still, I'm scared and I'm sad. It feel like these last four years went by way too quickly. It aches my heart! I now have a school-aged child. With my youngest also starting nursery a coulpe of times a week, I'm just an emotional mess!

Oh, but I know all the wonderful things that come with the beginning of school. Every since I was a child myself, I could not wait for the day to become a mom - and I could not wait to have children in school. I am now there. I can now look forward to my son bringing home projects, assignments, crafts, homework, and hand-written stories (okay, maybe not all of that in his first year!) for me to proudly read. I cannot wait to sit in the audience to watch his school plays and concerts, and I can't wait to be a volunteer in his classroom.

I have his outfit prepared for tomorrow, his snacks are ready to go, and his backpack is downstairs. We will get in the car tomorrow morning, and I will kiss his goodbye for the morning. I have not decided if I will actually leave the parking lot, but I'm thinking I'm going to have to, right? With tears streaming down my face, of course. It's painful! It's such a mix-bag of emotions. I hope it goes well. I hope he loves school and I hope he does well. I hope I can survive tomorrow, too - and you know I will be posting an update about his very first day once I calm down.

18 comments:

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

I know how you feel. I nearly had a panic attack sending Elijah to preschool, kindergarten, first grade...get the picture? It is SO hard to let them go!

Theta Mom said...

Loukia you're so cute! Nerves and all, fear not, it will go great. But I am like you, the snacks and EVERYTHING has to be organized the night before. What a big day for you guys! I'm looking forward to the next post where you describe how well he did! :)

Chelle said...

Honey, I'll be thinking of you both tomorrow! What an exciting, scary, life changing day it will be for you.

I know he'll do great! And I know you will, too, because you have all of us to help you through tomorrow. *smile*

CaraBee said...

Well, gosh, now I'm nervous for you, too! But know that you have raised him well, he is a smart kid and he will do GREAT!

ModernMom said...

So glad the second day went better! Don't forget your sunglasses! Never let them see you cry:) hugs!

Elaine A. said...

I'm SO glad to see that the second meeting went well! I'll be thinking of you and your little guy. I hope you BOTH do fine... hugs hon!

Scattered Mom said...

It will be fantastic. :) Make sure to get pictures!

Shana said...

Hoping you both do great!!! You WILL survive =) Can't wait to hear about it!!

Lady Mama said...

He'll do great Loukia! But I can completely understand your fears. I think I'll be the same in a few years. In a few weeks you won't even remember feeling like this. And, for the record, I totally think your little guy is going to do a PhD!

LZ @ My Messy Paradise said...

So sweet that you're Nervous Mommy! It's hard! School IS a big deal, and he is getting bigger, but all stages have their fun, exciting facets. Just think of all the things he is going to be able to teach you now. We no longer have 9 planets, math is done differently. Exciting! Does that help? Doesn't that help? Didn't think so...Hang in there, he will love it!

Fairly Odd Mother said...

Awwww, he looks so cute! I would've cried too.

twinmomplusone said...

hugs to you Loukia!
and he will do great :)

Chantal said...

Oh I hope his day goes well. My M had a terrible morning (and by association so did I). I will post about it when i have a free moment.

Chandra said...

Oh I remember my oldest son's first day of preschool...I was a wreck too! Nervous, scared, thought he would starve to death or die from exhuastion...alas none of that happened. He did great as I'm sure yours will do! Have fun and make sure you take LOTS of pictures so you can rember the day!!!

Jessica said...

I just love how open your heart is.

I almost teared up while reading this because your emotions are so big they reach out and grab me.

Big hugs to you!

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Look at that face! Of course he had a good first day. Can't wait to hear how it went.

Neena said...

He's precious! I bet your little kindergartener and my little kindergartener would get along great!

Tiaras said...

oh I know how you felt! I was SO SAD the first day of Kind for my daughter. I'm still sad to see her leave and I miss her dearly . . . but she is thriving!!

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