Monday, March 1, 2010

Evil pregnant sister

You all know about pregnancy brain, right?

I remember when I was pregnant, I would forget things all the time. Where my purse was, where the phone was, what day it was, where I was going once I started to drive.

In fact, I think I am still suffering from some form of memory loss, but that's another tale for another time.

When you're pregnant, you're also very emotional. You snap easily. You cry easily. You get angry for no good reason, and when you do, it comes without any warning at all.

No matter how nice of a person you normally are, watch out - a pregnant lady is not someone to mess with!

Take my sister, for example. This is a girl, who I swear to God, is sweet as pie. And, no word of a lie, even MY friends like her more than they like me. Because she's just the nicest person ever.

Her teachers all loved her as a child, saying on her report cards: "If only all children were as pleasant as Gina!"

Now? My sister is pregnant. And let me tell you - she's had some serious mood swings!

For instance?

She told me she wants to sell her nice pull-out couch she only bought a year ago, because she doesn't need it anymore, since the room it's in is becoming the baby's nursery.

I emailed her and told her she should, in fact, keep the couch - just move it to the basement, so she has an extra couch for when her basement is finished.

Then, the wrath of my sister arrived in my inbox:

whats wrong with you? like for real, get over it. I DONT NEED/WANT THAT COUCH IN MY HOUSE TO DO NOTHING FOR THE NEXT 5 YEARS IN THE BASEMENT, SO YOUR KIDS CAN SIT, SPIT AND DESTROY IT. it would do nothing, and who would i put down there????? no one. we have a double bed upstairs already if we have guests. whats wrong with you?????????

and wtf you think that couch would go in my basement when its finished anyway? where? its a 2 seater. like i would obviously need a big couch like yours. so get over it. i am not keeping it, i am selling it and using the money towards shit we need NOW.

omg i never knew your love for this couch before. weird.

Okay. Seriously? I had to laugh when I read this email because, really? This is not my sister! This is her evil pregnant mind taking over her thoughts! When will my normal sister come back? I'm scared!!!

29 comments:

Jen said...

OMG that is hilarious!!

And even funnier for me that it is the same kind of thing my NON-pregnant sister might email me, if she was feeling particularly fiesty that day, LOL

Oh sisters... I hope yours returns to you soon :-)

Jessica said...

Holy crap that is fucking HILARIOUS. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sounds like when I flipped my shit on Anthony when he insisted on pronouncing the "L" in "yolk." I broke down sobbing and was so mad I made him promise me, PROMISE ME, to NEVER, EVER say it that way again. hahahaha

Stephanie said...

Between your story and Jessica's yolk story, I'm busting a gut laughing right now (IRL!!) Thanks for the Monday chuckle!

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

That is so hilarous! after she gives birth- or actually wait a bit- I bet she will die laughing over that!!

Chantal said...

LOL that is seriously funny. Hormones are the best!

Kate Collings said...

Im pretty sure I got stuck with all those pregnancy hormones. In fact ask my OH I think he would confirm I have them. Like I end up crying at all hours of the morning saying "I am so tired I wish I could sleep". And then shouting at the fire alarm which goes off when I burn my 1yr olds toast- so rationally I smack it off the ceiling. Charlies Angels stlye. lol

Gina said...

you should be scared, i will get you back one day!!! lol!!!!!

Catwoman said...

Hysterical! Being pregnant is like a zombie attack, I swear. Your brain is overtaken.

And what IS up with your obsession with that couch. I mean, come on, Loukia for real? It's just a freaking couch!

Sorry, I thought it'd be fun to channel that pregnancy fury for a minute.

I remember getting into a HUGE fight with Sweetie Pie over something completely stupid. A daycare was being built near our house, and they'd sent the zoning thingie in the mail. And I argued with my husband about where the line in the picture was compared to our house.

He was disagreeing with me and I got into such a fury I threw my plate at his head. I'm not even kidding. In front of our almost three-year old.

For the record? I missed. And I do regret it. The missing, I mean. Because, clearly I was totally in the right.

verygoodyear said...

this is the funniest thing EVER. your poor sister! i was a mess when I was pregnant too.

T Rex Mom said...

Having been pregnant until 6 weeks ago, I can honestly say it's nice to start feeling somewhat normal again. I did not realize how grumpy I was all the time. Now I just blame it on sleep deprivation - can't say pregnancy hormones any more. At least you were able to laugh it off!

Cherie-Lynn said...

That is so frigin funny. To be honest it was pee your pants funny. Gina I can't wait to hear how you get her back.
I have a sister as well and we were both pregnat at the same time (I deliver 6 weeks before her) and our family said we should just have it out till one of us had our shirts over or heads, hockey style, afterall we are Canadian. The worst part is we are the best of friends.

Elaine A. said...

Is she out of her first trimester yet? If so I'd say you have a long haul! HA!

Tread lightly... ;-P

Sandy said...

Love it! I can HEAR the meltdown in her voice. Boy, have I had a lot of these in the past two years (pregnancy and PPD).

anya said...

That's funny!
I was a little scared for your life for a sec, and then I noticed Gina commented and only threatened to get you back, not murder you, for posting this on your blog!
I locked my husband out of the house for not hanging up our Christmas lights correctly. I also told him to call 555-gof*#kyourself to talk to someone that cared.
Yikes.

Chelle said...

Hahaha! God that sounded like me when I was pregnant.

And you should hear my sister and sister-in-law. Omg. I may need to just wait until they have had their babies to talk to them again...yikes.

xo

Mom2Miles said...

LOL! Wait till she sees you posted her e-mail on her blog!! I'd hate to see THAT reply!

Krystyn said...

That is too funny! It's a good thing you know your sister, too, or else that might have actually come across as mean!

Suzanne said...

LOL!!!!!!!!! God Bless Gina! That is too funny! Lou, lay off her with the couch - thank God it's sold! But that really is hilarious, and because you've already had 2 children, you should know not to mess with her!

Brittany at Mommy Words said...

This is awesome! I am sort of still there! Ah - the pregnant brain is a wonderous thing. Man I put my foot down on some things too - and put my foot in my mouth! That is great!

Nenette AM said...

OMG, Gina, you're hilarious!
It's like hearing myself when I was pregnant!

You better run, Loukia! She's going to get you good. :)

JulieBouf said...

That is awesome! So worth it just to keep for prosperity. Luckily, I am saved from any awkward conversations with my sister due to her "boundaries". She stopped by last weekend to wrap a present and was like I'm so sorry to be so impolite and presumptious. I was all like, seriously? Did we grow up in the same family?

Bus Driver said...

Ha! sibling rivalry or hormonal imbalance? Loved the blog, however I'm kinda like that ALWAYS... heyyyy wait a sec, am I pregnant too? ya, right! immaculate conception.
Glad to know you are two loving sisters :o) Thanks for this Monday smile and Gina, breathe girl breathe... hope your pregnancy is going well... @lauratoogood

CaraBee said...

Okay, that is some serious pregnancy attitude! I guess I was lucky, I didn't really have the mood swings, but man did I have the memory loss. Sadly, it still isn't back.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

So Greeks even yell over e-mail. Hilarious.

Lady Mama said...

That made me laugh out loud. You should keep it forever! I did some crazy thing when I was pregnant too, like, um (shhhh don't tell anyone) I kind of accidentally drove into the side of a car for no reason at all. And then, when my husband looked aghast when he saw the damage, I lost it!!! Just remember, pregnancy causes temporary insanity, but you will get your sister back... eventually!

Natalie at Mommy on Fire said...

This just made me laugh out loud. Hysterical and oh...so true. My husband is still scarred from some of my pregnancy tirades. Poor guy.

Maria @BOREDmommy said...

My sis is preggers too - about to pop any day. She HATES being pregnant too, although I haven't experienced any crazy emails from her - she just complains non-stop and acts like she's the only person who's ever been pregnant. Super fun.

Charlotte said...

I know for a fact that I didn't have pregnancy brain. I also know for a fact that everyone around me went crazy and everything I said/did/thought was obviously their fault for breathing on me wrong.

Shannon @ AnchorMommy said...

Haha! Wow. That was a full-on rant.

I thought I was a happy pregnant girl, but now I'm wondering if I say/do random stuff like that. Huh.

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