Monday, June 14, 2010

Ready or not

My oldest son got his 'big boy' furniture when he was 2 and a half years old. It took me months of research, both online and in stores, to find the 'perfect' new bedroom set for him. I adored his nursery - my husband created a beautiful room, from the hardwood floors, to the crown moulding, to the chair rail and thick baseboards, to the light blue and green walls he painted.

It took me even longer to find the 'perfect' bedding - something soft, neutral, not too 'baby-ish'; something that was white, with some blue and green in it. This all came together beautifully with his furniture - the crib, change table, dresser, night table, bookcase and chair - all in white. My mom, the artist, created original paintings for his walls, in the same colour scheme as his bedding. It was the perfect nursery for my perfect baby boy.

Being the emotional person that I am, I had a hard time changing his 'baby furniture' to 'big-boy furniture', but I couldn't wait much longer, as I was about to have baby number 2. In the end, his perfect big boy furniture came from IKEA, an idea my dad wasn't too fond of, but an idea that we loved. The colour of wood was perfect; the bookcase, big enough, the bed, just right. He got a queen sized bed, and my mom, on the same day we put his bed together, came over with the 'perfect' queen sized comforter and bedding set - of construction vehicles, because, at the time, he was all about construction.

During all of this, my husband was also hard at work building my second dream nursery; hardwood floors, chair rail, crown moulding, new baseboards, and painting the walls a soft yellow and blue; I found my my second baby's bedding from Pottery Barn Kids, and we were ready to rock-and-roll for the second time.

Now, my sister is expecting her first baby girl - any day now - and her nursery, a beautiful white and pink room with green accents, fit for a princess - is ready. My sister has one request - for me to give her my baby's change table. My baby is almost 2 and a half years old. It's time to get him his 'big-boy furniture', too. Only, this time, I hesitate - because I know that chances are, this is the last time I'm going to see a change table in my house. I hate change. I really do. And when it comes to my baby growing up so quickly, it's even harder to deal with. I am having 'I can't part with the change table even though my baby is almost fully toilet trained' anxiety.

He is ready. He told my sister: "Take it. I no need it anymore."

Meanwhile, I keep giving her excuses as to why she can't come pick it up yet: "I need to find something to replace it with! Maybe I'll buy him a new play kitchen to go in that corner? Or a nice desk? We are not sure which bed to get yet. I haven't even looked for new bedding! I still do change his diapers on there, even though he barely fits, you know. I AM NOT READY!"

I'm running out of time. I know this week - or next, at the latest - I will have to part with that change table; the very same change table I changed my first baby's diaper on. And that makes me weepy and emotional.

Is this a sign I need to think about having a third baby? Well, not if you ask my husband or mom! It's just because it means another baby phase has come to an end. I can't quite picture my sweet baby boy in a queen size bed already. He still looks so perfect in his crib... even though he only spends half the night in there - the other half is spent sleeping beside me in my bed - a queen sized bed, also, that I love sharing with him. I love sleeping beside my children. I guess I could always share his new bed with him, until he's ready to sleep alone, right?

And of course, when the time comes when he no longer needs me to sleep beside him, you can bet I'll be an emotional mess all over again!

18 comments:

IASoupMama said...

Growing up isn't easy on moms, is it? I cried the day we took down the crib. It's still leaning against the wall in the spare bedroom in case I finally get pregnant with #3. I can't bear to take it up to the attic...

Nenette AM said...

They insist on growing up, don't they?! No matter how much we want to keep them babies.
We're decluttering their toys... and I have to resist keeping ALL the baby rattles and blocks. It's so tough!

Elaine A. said...

They do look so small in those Queen-sized beds.

I don't know, maybe it's something about having a third but I am SO ready to start getting ready of baby stuff. Is that weird?

Although, we are talking about small things right now, like the Bumbo chair and the play mat. When it's time to get rid of the crib I may be a mess too!

Erica said...

Do you think a 3rd baby will be in your plans eventually? Maybe you could make a deal with your sister to give it back to you if that happens...lol

My daughter is in a toddler bed and my 5 month old has her old crib ....and yes i hated haveing to chenge my daughters nursery .....but for us it was hard because they have to share a room so it's boy/girl now ....:::tear:::: i do want a 3rd one eventually though

Rachel said...

I know EXACTLY what you mean! I just gave away a bunch of my youngest's clothes to someone who needs them, but to me that was a sign that we're just not gonna need them anymore... :0(

I don't like how fast time is going...

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

I feel the same about giving up baby things- so sad, yet such a sign of--whaaaaa!!!!

Good luck, I am all weepy now!

Tiaras said...

my son is 8 and still begs me to sleep with him - it is a long time coming yet girlie!! (thank the Lord!!)

Kate Coveny Hood said...

I don't even try to complain about the kids climbing into bed with me. I secretly love it - thrashing arms, kicking legs, covers stealing and all. Ask my husband the same question and you'll get a different answer though...

CaraBee said...

I'm pretty much decided that we're not going to have another child. I waver sometimes, but I feel most strongly that our daughter will be an only child. However. I just can't bring myself to consign all of her baby stuff. My husband thinks its because I actually do want another child, but I know that its really because I can't let go of my baby and accept that she's growing up. It's much hard on the parents.

Lady Mama said...

I detest change too. And I, like you, sometimes think I want a third baby, but then I realize I'm just super sad to be leaving these baby phases. It's hard letting go of these things - I understand! I say give the change table to your sister now, because it doesn't mean you're losing anything, not really. And if you DO end up having a third, then you'll have a reason to buy a whole new set!

life in a pink fibro said...

My Mr3 told me this morning that he thought he'd grown a little bit bigger in his sleep. I looked him over and thought 'why, yes, you have' - and immediately wanted to demand that he stop. He's desperate to be a Big Boy like his brother Mr6. I'd like to keep him at this magical age forever. I think he's going to win this one.

I'm Molly said...

Oh boy. My first baby turns 2 in August and when we move to our new house it will be time for the "big boy" bed. I can rest easy right now since I just had a baby and will be re-using the nursery furniture. So I can walk in another room and see it. Although I'm happy my baby is turning into a happy little boy my heart also aches to see him grow so quickly.

Pres. Kathy said...

Where does the time go? How can our babies be growing up so fast? Unfortunately, we will be emotional with all the changing things!

Erin said...

I have given a lot of my girls' things away, even with thoughts/dreams of wanting another....sigh. It's not easy!

sharon said...

It's so hard leaving behind a stage knowing you'll never experience it again. Son No. 2 is *thisclose* to losing his first tooth and the thought of it moves me to tears.

becca said...

I remember how little Hannah looked in her bed on that first night there. I am SO not ready for Luke to leave his crib. So he won't... until he begs for it! These little stages are so hard to watch go by... but with the old stages, come new ones so we have to enjoy them while they ALL last!

Alyssa said...

Maybe you can think about it as "lending" it to your sister. That way it won't feel so permanent and you'll keep open the possibility of a third.(even if you don't want it back) In the meantime your son sounds great!

Kelly said...

We just put my youngest in a big girl bed yesterday. She's done so well and now my husband wants to give away the crib! And I'm so not ready to do that yet.

We will probably be having another child in a few years and I'm holding onto all their old clothes just in case we have another girl again.

For now, I'm ok because I know there will be another baby eventually but after our next I won't have that thought to comfort me

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