25 Things Being A Mom Has Taught Me:
1. You will love like you have never loved before.
2. Your heart will break like never before.
3. You will remember how fun it was to play with all the things you loved playing with as a child—things like LEGO, Play-Doh and Playmobil.
4. You will become very emotional. Not just right after you give birth, but always. You'll be changed forever, and commercials that aren't made to make you cry will make you cry.
5. Your level of empathy for others, especially children and mothers who have suffered a terrible loss, will increase and although your heart is full of love, there will always be a part of it that is broken for every tragic story you hear about.
6. You will be like a deer caught in headlights the first time you have to deal with cleaning up floating poo from the bath-tub. Unfortunantly, this may be something you have to do more than once. This has happened to me more than a handful of times. Poo in bath-tub is NOT fun! Vomit clean-up is also just as awful.
7. You will breastfeed in places you never thought you would. I enjoyed breastfeeding, but I was also private about it. When I could be. Other times, I'd whip out my boobs on the airplane, on a bench in the mall, in Starbucks, and during dinner at a fancy steak house.
8. All the little things you thought you would love about being a mom—after dinner visits to the park, pushing your child on the swings, going for ice cream, snuggling in bed on a rainy night, having picnics in the grass—those experiences are the very best.
9. Happy Meals at McDonald's are absolutely acceptable once a week.
10. The dislike for winter grows tenfold when you have children, because trying to get them into snow pants, boots, hats, scarves and mitts causes a lot of anxiety, stress, and tears. And then trying to fit your children who look like the Michelin Man into their car seats? Sob.
11. Going to the bathroom without little people watching you is a luxury. For the most part, I will take a shower late at night, after my little people have gone to bed.
12. Your mom was probably right.
13. Having to take your child to the bathroom at a truck stop in the middle of nowhere during a road trip will not help alleviate your fear of germs. In fact, your panic will be so clearly visible to your child that after the experience, he will sleep with a bottle of Purell beside him.
14. You will catch yourself eating food off the floor. It's a quick way to clean up. Sometimes, the food you eat off the floor actually ends up being your dinner.
15. You will not fit into your old jeans three weeks after you give birth. Anyone who does fit into their old jeans three weeks after they give birth is not human and I don't want to know them.
16. "Sleeping in" is as distant a memory as "Tequila Sunrise".
17. You are stronger than you think. Both phyiscally, as you carry your children in your arms even when they're four years old, and emotionally, as you have to face seeing your child sick, upset and hurt.
18. Saying 'no' is never easy.
19. You will sometimes feel like you're not doing the best job parenting. But when your children run to you, greeting you with kissses and hugs, and call out your name in the middle of the night, you'll think you're doing alright.
20. Teaching your children is a very beautiful thing. Watching your children read, or watching them write their own name for the first time, are moments to always be proud of.
21. You will get extremely embarrassed in public many times. Your children will swear loudly in front of others, and you'll have body parts exposed when you least expect it. Grin and bear it!
22. The 'first time' moments—when your baby walks alone for the first time, the first smile, the first words—are the happiest moments. The 'last time' moments—the last time you nurse your child, the last time your child drinks from a bottle, the last time your child wears a diaper—are very emotional moments.
23. Time goes by so quickly. Take a lot of pictures. And videos!
24. When writing a blog post about your children, make sure you don't write anything that they'll be upset about 15 years from now.
25. Take a deep breath. It's not as bad as you think it is.