One year ago, I was an emotional mess. Last year, my first born son, my baby boy, was starting kindergarten. I wrote about my feelings before and after.
On his first day of school, as he walked away from me, holding his teacher's hand, I cried. A lot. In front of other moms, while holding my baby boy, I was a sobbing mess and I couldn't stop crying.
I couldn't believe my child was starting school. He was officially a big boy, a big boy who had just entered a whole new world—an exciting world, filled with so many new experiences.
Your school years, from the first year to the last year, are filled with vivid memories, both good and bad. I remember things so clearly, from grade school to Univeristy. The smells, the people, the experiences, the excitement. Friends, detention, homework, dances, track and field, first crushes, first everything. School is where everything happens, where best friends are made, where your heart breaks for the first time, where your world crashes down on you, where you gain confidence and where you do a LOT of growing up.
Now my role had officially shifted, from student to 'mother'. I was going to be the person who would be waiting at home for her child to come running through the front door with stories of excitement, with tears, with questions, and with (God help me) math homework. Would I be strong enough?
When I picked my son up from his first day of school, he was smiling and he ran towards me. I was glad to hear his first day went so well, and from that day on, things kept getting better and better. I wrote about the changes I saw in him. I wrote about his happiness about going to school, and how happy that made me. His first year in school went by very quickly. And on his last day of junior kindergarten , I cried again.
Last year, this was our conversation on the drive to school:
C: "So, you're going to leave me at school. But you'll be back."
Me: "Exactly, sweetie. I'll be back before you know it, and you'll do great - you'll love it so much, you have a great teacher, and you probably won't even want to leave!"
C: "So when you leave me at school, you're just going to go buy some soap, right? You're just going to go buy some soap for the dishwasher, and then come pick me up?"
Me: "I'll be back, don't worry at all!"
On Tuesday, he starts school again. I know there will be no fear, and no questions asked, this time. He's not exactly thrilled that summer is over, because his days of swimming and eating watermelon all day will be replaced with more structure and routine, but he's glad to be going back to his teacher, and to his friends.
I am excited for his second year of kindergarten. I hope he does amazing, I hope he learns, I hope he soars, I hope he laughs and I hope he runs back into my arms at the end of the day so I can hug him tight and tell him how proud I am of him... every day.