Tuesday, November 23, 2010

30 Days of Truth: Day 8

It's time for another writing prompt. Who has been a bad influence in my life?

Day 8, 30 Days of Truth: Someone who made your life hell

Throughout my life, there have been people who have treated me badly. I've gotten into hurtful fights with friends but no fight was ever big enough that it didn't get resolved with tears and hugs.

There were a few rough patches in elementary school, some bullying in middle school, but mostly smooth sailing in high school and University, excepet for some heartbreak and anxiety. Overall though—those were the days and those days have a totally awesome soundtrack.

So then. The only person I can think of who has made my life hell is... me.

Mostly unintentionally, but still—I'm the only person responsible for my actions, so I have no one to blame except myself when things go wrong. It is easy to put the blame on other people when things don't go your way, but the truth is, we hold the power—to change, to forgive, to grow and to do the things we need to do.

I'm the reason I didn't get straight A's in school, because despite my parents sternly telling me to study more, I had other ideas.

I'm the reason I recently had to pay over $1500 to fix my car, because I was distracted as I pulled out of my parking garage at work, damaging the front-end of my car.

I'm the reason I still have lose those extra five pounds, because I wasn't careful enough about what I was eating and I have not been going to the gym regularly.

I'm the reason I worry about my health because I don't go to the doctor when I should.

I'm the reason I have a tough time disciplining my boys, because I didn't say no when I should have.

I'm the reason I'm not a better cook, because I don't spend enough time in the kitchen.

However, even despite all of this, I forgive myself. And I believe that tomorrow is another day!

And if you want to know the truth, the real person who has made my life hell has been this little gold dude right here:

He taunts me with his glittery shine, makes me think that no purchase is too big, lures me into the stores, and makes me leave only when my arms can't hold any more bags. When he's in my hands, I feel free and loved and I don't see dollar signs because he's a card after all. Only later, when I check the mail, does my world come crushing down as I notice the damage I have done. That he has caused me.

Still. Despite all this, despite the fact that he puts me through hell, I forgive him and we make-up and we do it all over again. Making up is the best part, you know.

I guess it is just a love-hate relationship that I can't get out of.

19 comments:

Avitable said...

That damn American Express dude. He makes my life hell too!

Lady Mama said...

How very honest of you! It's true - we're responsible for so many of the things we're not happy about in our lives, but the important thing is you can forgive yourself. I see myself in a lot of the things you mention here too - especially the evil credit card! And yes, making up is definitely the best part. ;-)

Brittany at Mommy Words said...

Oh my I have that same Gold due tempting me. Can I bmale it all on him?

This was a great truth and one that I should think more about. But yes, forgiveness is the key!

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Very true insight here. However? I can't feel your pain on the American Express dude. My DEAR husband (no, no, not being sarcastic!) doesn't believe in those beautiful, glittery gold cards. Sigh.

Marilyn (A Lot of Loves) said...

Oh the lure of plastic money. It gets me too.

Mom2Miles said...

LOL! Very mature of you to take responsibility like that. The "little gold dude" -- heehee!

ModernMom said...

Oh this is so true! Ummm even the part about that shiny gold card:) We really do control our own destiny's!

ellen said...

Well, I see what you mean, but don't give yourself such a hard time... we've all been there, believe me!

As for managing the cc, isn't that what New Years resolutions are for?! :)

Cailin @ Stir Crazy said...

This is so true. It's so easy to blame others, but always remember that we're not perfect and all make mistakes and bad decisions at times. But at least you recognize it and can make positive changes. Thanks for being so open and honest! And good luck with that evil gold card... shopping temptations are hard to ignore with that in hand!

Erin said...

I have the same little friend and he's horrible to me as well. Although it is nice to treat yourself once in a while...but I think I'm better at buying myself presents. It's like I think I deserve them or something. hehehehehehehe

Muthering Heights said...

The AM guy is a very fickle boyfriend for sure!

Amber said...

Oh, the damage we do ourselves. No one else can do half as much.

And don't get me started on the little gold dude. It's holiday shopping season and, oh, the allure!

Scary Mommy said...

Too funny! I have the same sort of relationship with mine. :)

all.things.fadra said...

I love how you turned this inward. I can kind of relate. I used to have HUGE credit card debt. I got out and hope to never be back there. Great post.

Sandra said...

I really admire your honesty. Not too many people can call themselves out the way you have. Very authentic.

Elisa @ Globetrotting in Heels said...

ah hahahaha! Girl, you are awesome. And I swear, maybe because we are birthday buddies, but so much of what you wrote is true for me, too!

Awesome post :-D

Hollywood Farm said...

30 days of truth, great concept!! I've written about the one who brings hell to my life on http://bitchinwivesclub.blogspot.com/

Little Gold dude is way better than evil sister in laws! UGH!!

Mommyfriend Lori said...

I really appreciated the honesty in this post. You just have a way with words Loukia. I don't have an AmEx but I have a Mastercard, it's just not the same saying those 2 circles put me through hell even though they have.

Bruna said...

You write so freely and your posts are always entertaining. Your honesty is endearing. I can identify with you on many things ~ the one that stand out the most ~ my own fault for not getting better grades in school! Anyways, thanks for sharing.

I still can't believe your post about the GOAT giveaway. I laughed so hard! I don't know where I'd put a goat!

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