I don't like change, especially when I don't want it, and especially when I'm not ready for it. I like when things go according to plan. My plan. However, as we all know, change happens, and we have to deal. Roll with it. Accept it. Move on. Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end, right?
The end of high school was brutal for me. Depressing. Of course, summer was a blast, and high school was a distant memory once university began. Once university was over? Brutal. Depressing. And then, well, you move on, you adapt, and the memories (amazing, foggy, hilarious, wonderful) replace the sadness. And on and on it goes... each milestone my children reached was met with applause and tears from me. Change... not my favourite thing.
Sometimes change can take you by surprise, too. My secure job in the government is not so secure anymore, due to the budget cuts everyone is now dealing with. If you thought federal government employees were safe for life? Yeah... not so much anymore. What does this mean for me? I have to re-apply for my job along with a couple of other colleagues, (super fun times) and one of us will be laid off. In the very official meeting when we were given this scary news, we were told that one of us could volunteer to be the one to be laid off.
Of course at that point all I wanted to do was stand up and yell: "I VOLUNTEER FOR TRIBUTE!" but sadly, I'm too conservative in the workplace for those types of shenanigans. I did, however, say: "Let me play the lottery at lunchtime, and if I win millions, I'll get back to you."
If I'm laid off, (chances are very high this will happen) I'll have months to find another job, so I'm optimistic, and hopeful. I believe change can be a good thing, when it comes to work. It can be a great thing, actually. There will always be another opportunity. Yes, there is more stress in my life (to say the least) because of this situation, but perhaps... it's a blessing in disguise?
Meantime, in two weeks I'll be putting on my best heels for one of my best friend's weddings, and in three weeks, I'll be boarding a plane to Miami for Mom 2.0. I'm so pumped to be attending this conference, and to see so many amazing women and friends. And yes, I'm still dealing with mommy guilt, and I'm likely going to miss the party at the Versace mansion because three entire nights away from my boys is really hard on me. I know my boys will be fine, it's me I'm worried about. I know when they're older three nights will be easier to deal with, but right now? I'm not so sure. Maybe if I didn't work full-time leaving would be easier, because then I could say I deserved a break.
In other news, big C and little D are doing great, and growing right before my eyes. I am on a mission to find that pause button, yo! They're constantly asking me questions I don't have the answers to, and when they're not, they're making me laugh, as they always do.
Life is busy, with, well, everything... house stuff, school stuff, after-school stuff, family stuff, friends stuff, life stuff, hosting jewelry parties, (and stocking up on summer accessories!) celebrating Greek Easter, blogging about the Michael Kors event, and hosting giveaways on my shopping blog.
I've got no complaints, despite the fact that I sleep five hours a night. Busy is good. I'd still like to find a few more hours in the day to get it all done, and to find that balance I keep trying to find, and to finally get caught up with all my favourite blogs I just haven't had the time to read lately. I miss you! And you. And you.